A Haggard Existence

So most of you are probably wondering what I think about the whole Ted Haggard story, right? (of course, why wouldn't you be wondering what I think?)

I had a dream today that I think sums it up pretty well. Today I laid down at around 11am to get some sleep, (11am! Are you serious Tim? Heck yes I'm serious, I have to work tonight from 11pm to 7am, I need all the sleep I can get.) So anyway, I'm kind of in that hypnagogic state right as I'm falling asleep and I start to think about the whole Haggard deal. I find myself wanting to be angry at the man for telling people week after week about being pure and loving Jesus, yet possibly being a hypocrite the whole time. I think about seeing him on news stories in the past where he criticizes other Christians who don't believe exactly like him (the most recent story about a month ago.) I think about how he often comes off as incincere, arrogant, and fundamental.

Yet this weird dream-yet-I'm-controlling-what-I-think-and-do state finds me kneeling at steps (sort of like steps at the Lincoln Memorial, a place I've never been) at crying for him. I'm crying because if these allegations are true (which I have no opinion either way,) then I pity him for the torment of having to hide these things for the past three + years. The pain and agony he must have felt not having someone to confide in, not being able to open and honest about his struggles, feeling that there was no one to turn to. Maybe I'm projecting too much on him, maybe he didn't feel any of this and had no problem speaking out of both sides of his mouth, or maybe the allegations are completely false, I don't know.

But if they are true, even if parts of the allegations are true, which seems to be the case, I feel bad for him.

I don't really like the guy, but I pray that he finds peace and he can resolve this issue in the best possible way with the best possible outcome for all involved.

But then again, this just might be a dream after all.