Revelations
I am a whore and a murderer. So goes the phrase repeated almost daily by my grad school professor. Well that's just nice for him, and on a certain level it's alright for me, but is it true? Could it really be true that I am a whore and a murderer? Had you asked me this question a month ago, I might have said, "Sure, yeah." Ask me now? I'd have to say that and a whole lot more.
A month ago I thought I had it pretty well together, pretty figured out. Oh I knew I had a lot to learn about life, God, and relating to others, but I thought I was pretty put together. So after three weeks of class, I've discovered that I am an attention whore, I'm a manipulator, I think much of this may stem from my relationship with my mother (no Freudian weirdness here people,) and I don't know how to carry on an adult relationship. Oh yeah, and I'm not really that outgoing, but I can fake it real nice.
I also don't want people to know the real me, I really don't think I know the real me for that matter. Take this blog for example. So I know at least one person reads this, and that's fine. But I don't want to broadcast it everywhere that I have a blog. Why? Because I want to be known anonymously. I want to have the freedom to post my heart and not be worried about having an awkward moment next time I see someone who read my blog and was offended.
So what should I do? Should I censor my posts and tell the world that Tim's blog lives here? Should I continue writing from the heart (as much as I can at this point in time) and tell everyone they're just out of luck on reading the blog? Or should I scrap the blog altogether?
I don't know, Tim what would you do?
posted by Tim @ 9/21/2006 03:41:00 AM
1 Comments:
Well tim i assume that question is pointed at me and not some internal monologue thing(i watch scrubs everyday now...ive started doing it myself). Well i wouldnt scrap the blog all together. what else would i have to read at 2:30 on a sunday night. I would assume this blog is no longer your getthisoffmychest theropy type blog since the begining of your group class. Anyway, its really up to you tim. What do you want. To be an anonymous poet to the masses(or no one). Or to stop hiding and show your true self. By the way, I think i remember Jesus offending a few people...i wouldnt worry about all that too much as long as you got the truth there timmer. And if they still dont like it. screw em. they can hit the little 'next blog' button on top right. Ya Heard! Anyway, i dont know man, to be honest its late and i just read all i just wrote. lol. im just kindof ramblling around. im trying to trick myself into being tired whilst watching sportscenter. I in no way just helped your situation there. just felt like typing. probably how you feel late at work too. so yeah maybe thats it. Your bored. Your pondering. Why not just type all that out. wowo. still doesnt help. anyway...guess this is my way of saying yeah, i still poke around here every now and again, its always good to here from you. btw. Y do they make this word verification stuff down here so hard. they keep twisting and putting extra lines everywhere. It is completely illegible. wheres the multiple choice, really.
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